Thursday, July 28, 2005

Disappointing Season Coming to a Close (AP) [New story reported 13 minutes ago]

Just as the "Mercy Rule" thankfully brought many painful games to a close this season, the league schedule is mercifully bringing an end to a thoroughly disappointing season for Frieda's Boss.

"I'd like to say I took something out of this season..like I learned something...but I didn't learn anything...not a god damn thing." admitted player-manager Bryant Emerson as he took a drag from a cigarette while watching his player warm-up before a recent contest.

"What really got me was all the negative feedback we got from our fan-base. I was booed, my apartment building was toilet-papered, my car was egged, and someone spat on my and called me a 'baby-killer.' I guess that's the bitter symphony of life." noted RW McGelboim.

Things really spun out of control for Frieda's Boss about a month ago, when team mascot and perennial loser/deadbeat Justin Miller unexpectedly got both a girlfriend and a job. He became a new man and hasn't been heard from since.

"Fucking Miller man... he's gone and now we don't have a mascot. And it's not just that I lost a mascot...What really makes me sad is I lost the piece of shit in my life whom I used to berate and ridicule. And ripping apart Miller made all of us feel better about ourselves. But now he's off to bigger and better things and there is a void in my life." admitted Emerson, as he extinguished his cigarette on his forehead.