Thursday, June 16, 2005

(AP) Evansville, IL- Contract Squabbling Mars Early Season On-Field Exploits

Matos seen here before a preseason game in St. Louis

Freida's Boss player-manager Byron Emerson is hopping mad. And he ought to be. Shortstop Mike Matos, on loan from Kirkwood & Ells, is demanding a salary increase or he threatens to sit out the rest of the season.

Said Emerson, "Matos signed a contract and I expect him to honor it. He wants more money, but we're not running a charity here."

Pitching ace Mike Rothberg added, "We'll play with who we have. We can win without Matos if we have to. And we can win without Gizzburg too. All we really need is me."

Matos responded, "Hey I know I signed the fawkin' contract, but I got fawkin' bills to pay. If you want me to play, you have to pay me more fawkin' money."

The fan-base has split loyalties.
Notes long-time fan and molestation victim, Tony "CoCo" Khoury, "Well, it is important that this shortstop maintains his part of the bargained for exchange. Sanctity of contract is all that separates us from the animals. Without it we are left with chaos."

Fair-weather Freida fan and recovering alcoholic Justin "Grampa" Miller takes the opposite position. "Hell in a hat-bucket, we're in America here, not Russia. Everyone should be paid what they're worth. I say Emerson should stop lining his pockets and give Matos more money."

Regardless of who is right or wrong, one thing is for sure: This bickering is no good for team unity, and Freida's Boss must resolve the situation as soon as possible.


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